Good Morning..July 4th Independence Day
hmmm could this be an omen!?
well this is a first.....me blogging. I was thinking about journaling everyday and how I could keep in touch with a lot of friends..did a little Net research and came up with the answer....A blog!
Explanation of the title; So far I think I have had 4 phases in my life. A daughter, a wife, a nurse, a mother and now this phase, still not sure what to call this one. Some one told me recently how lucky I was to be given this opportunity to reinvent myself...hmmm gives me something to think about. Now just because I said there were 5 phases doesn't mean that I move from one into an another never returning..in my mind the phases are fluid..I move in and out of them day to day even hour to hour. I think and hope this phase is a accumulation of all the other phases, this is the phase where hopefully I am the person I am meant to be. That all the others have formed this person ..the person who found the strength and courage from the parents, husband, son, friends and career to make this huge change in her life.
Six months ago a seed of an idea started in my brain..it grew and gathered momentum until I knew it was something I had to do. I knew after 35 + years of working at one place I needed and wanted to move on. To tell the truth the decision shocked the hell out of me..and my friends and family. Then after giving my dear sweet husband long hours of listening to my angst I decided on consulting. Two and half weeks ago I accepted a new position and handed in my resignation.
So now it begins...I am very surprised at the amount of people who have called me brave and courageous and said I have inner strength....I guess I don't see that..to tell truth a good part of this decision was based on fear. I was fearful first of not being the person others thought I was. You know how it is the big frog on the little pond. not that I thought of my self of the big frog...but I have developed my career in one place...I know a lot of people and my reputation is good in fact I think very good, but that is here. The question is can I be just as good somewhere where no one knows me? The second and biggest fear was regret...I did not want to look back a few years from now and wonder "what if" or "why didn't I when I had the chance?"
So I stepped off the cliff...took the plunge...what ever you may want to call it I DID IT!!! with a great amount of support and love from my husband, son and friends... I couldn't have done this with out them.. so with all my heart I thank them..for listening, for their patience with my emotional roller coaster ride and for loving me unconditionally ...I know it is not easy.
It is so wonderful that you are reaching out to meet your potential. One of the most important things in life to me is to have no regrets. I spent most of my life afraid and lacking confidence. Like you I am at the phase in my life where I want to pursue the things I want to do. You are couragous and thank you for including me in this endeavor you are taking on. We are strong women who have worthwhile interests and we will succeed at our pursuits. I will live vicariously through your travels and learn from you. I love you.
ReplyDeleteHi Mom,
ReplyDeleteThis is your next phase...reinventing yourself. It's a scary step, but it's worth the risk. You will do great. I have oodles of confidence in you. Good luck with your next endeavors and remember that you have the support of a daughter now too!
Love ya lots!!
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ReplyDeleteAlthough I will miss seeing you every day, I am behind you in this new phase. We never know what we are capable of until we are in non-routine, uncomfortable times. I am sure you will do well!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the words of encouragement
ReplyDelete6 weeks
ReplyDeleteWeel its been 6 weeks already and there have been many ups and downs with in that time.
First of all I realized I had fears I never knew I had; fear of being late, fear of being lost, fear of not knowing anyone. My God I was engulfed in fear my first few days. It was almost crippling. I thought I was a strong woman.
The Sunday I left I took an early flight so I would have tome to drive around and get my bearings....that was laughable. I got through the Philly airport, shuttle and all ok but Miami was a different story. It took me forever to find the place to stand for the Budget shuttle..NO SIGNAGE. I followed a man in suit carry a laptop case hoping he was going to to the same place. I got to Budget, got my paperwork and headed to my car. I have to admit my friends the whole time my pulse is racing and my stomach is in knots...where the heck did this awful FEAR come from??!! I finally find my numbered slot and realize I have no keys! I wander around looking for assistance...6 rows away I find someone who tells me the keys are in the car waiting for me. DUH how would I know that! I get in the strange car try to acclimate myself and set up the Garmin. OK ready to go!
The Garmin says it will take 11 minutes. OMG Miami is crazy....traffic is fast and there is construction every where!! Needless to say the 11 minute drive took me and hour. Recalculate RECALCULATE!!! OMG help me someone please...
I landed at 1:35 I got to the hotel at 3.....I get to my room...the view is beautiful...I sit on the bed and cry...no I sob for about 10 minutes..then I make a decision...I will QUIT!
Yep this is not for me...I hate Miami..I hate rental cars... I QUIT.
I call Marvin who of course is sensible and says give it a week you are already there...I can't get back in that car again. he talks me down and decide to give it a week.
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